Stories Between The Lines
by Once Upon A Time Is Now
Summary: "I'm not interested in him! He's repulsive, just like every guy I've ever met!" Narcissa enters her 4th year, displeased to find growing attention from more than one boy. Follows canon. T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**Stories Between The Lines**

A/N: This is my attempt to tell Narcissa's story, using canon as much as possible while filling in the rest of the gaps myself. It starts from her 4th year of Hogwarts. Will contain swearing. Please review! :) Thanks to my beta smile . laugh . read for helping me to finally post this.

Chapter 1: Monday 1st September 1969

My name is Narcissa and I belong to the 'Noble and Most Ancient House of Black'. I am tall with a slim figure, and I have long blonde hair and light blue eyes. For a Black this is unusual. Most of my family have dark hair such as my sisters Bellatrix and Andromeda and my father. I do share some features with them – nose and face shape - but I am a lot more like mother; she has long, blonde hair - just like mine.

I have just started my fourth year at Hogwarts, Bella finished last term and Dromeda is now in her sixth year. Unlike Bella, she is a prefect. Hopefully I will be one next year, it would be nice to finally get the respect that a Black deserves...and the power to punish the younger kids when they are being out of line or annoying me would just be an added bonus.

This year the sixth year prefects have to do rounds with someone from another house to their own and Dromeda has been paired with a mudblood from Hufflepuff called Ted Tonks. Right now in the common room she is having a rant with Adelaide and Isabella on how disgraceful it is and how she will not put up with such filth.

"A mudblood? No wonder he's in Hufflepuff; that's the house for losers. I can't believe Dumbledore is making you do this." said Isabella, sounding revolted.

"I can't resign from my prefect duties! I'm a Black; I won't let anyone like _him_ get in my way! Father won't allow someone like him getting one over me." There was a slight insincerity that I tried hard to dismiss as meaningless as she said that.

"Then you'll just have to get _him _to quit by making it hard for him." Adelaide said, smirking nastily.

Dromeda is a good actress, but as her sister I can tell she is not as sickened as her friends are; they are the ones who are really enraged. Of course, she doesn't _like_ mudbloods, but she has a higher tolerance of them than the rest of us Blacks. I think she decided years ago that going out of her way to hate people for their blood was too great of an effort, so she stopped insulting them so much, she generally ignores them instead now.

I think this is one of the reasons why Bella became more extreme with her hate of mudbloods. As if to make up for Dromeda, she always takes any opportunity to insult them for no more reason than the fact they exist. To me this seems a little extreme; I think they can be allowed to exist, but they should never be allowed into the magical world. However, the idea of being forced to spend time with one is absolutely ghastly. Magic belongs with the pure only; I find it despicable that the Ministry lets more muggles steal what is ours every year by permitting them go to Hogwarts.

"Hey Dromeda, at least you don't have to put up with him on the first night back, I heard Rabastan's got some bonding time with that Ravenclaw Helen instead." I said.

"Yeah that's true, although I'm sure he'd much rather be spending the time with you Cissy." She winked. "I bet he's been pining over you all summer."

"Ugh please, the only criteria of mine that he fits is being a Slytherin, I'm not interested in him! He's repulsive, just like every guy I've ever met!" I crinkled up my nose in disgust.

"That's not the only criteria he fits, you forgot pureblood and older than you."

"Whatever! I'm still not interested! I'm going to bed!"

"Oh, ok, sleep tight then gorgeous." she said with a smile.

I walked up the stairs to my dorm, I was the first one in bed; I was very tired from the train journey and everything else and I fell asleep long before any of the other girls came up.

* * *

><p><em>Bella was holding a man's arm whose face I couldn't see. They were both wearing a wedding ring so it was obviously her husband. Just to the right was Dromeda holding another man's arm whose face I couldn't see either. They were married too. I stood there by myself. <em>

_Suddenly Mother and Father appeared. They didn't look pleased with me..._

"_Narcissa, explain yourself! Why don't you have a husband yet? Both your sisters have done what is expected of them! Why can't you be like them?"_

"_I...I'm fourteen mother, I don't have to yet do I? I'm too young! There isn't anyone..."_

"_How dare you make pathetic excuses like that Cissy? Dromeda and I did it perfectly easily; you're not trying hard enough! You're letting the family down!" Bella snarled, her pretty face twisting into a scowl._

_I choked on tears that were about to fall. Then I turned around and ran. Everything was dark as if I was in a black hole. The ground began to disappear and I fell into a void of nothingness with a heaving sob..._

"_Hello beautiful." said a man's voice. "What's the matter? Don't spoil that pretty looking face of yours; we've got our wedding to get to." I opened my eyes and looked up. Oh no. It was Rabastan._

"_W-what? What do you mean?" I stuttered. "No. I don't want...I'm not going with you. Go away..." I faltered on the last syllable._

"_Why Narcissa, my sweet, I don't think you understand me. You're mine now, even if you won't go to our wedding; the papers are already signed. We can just skip to our honeymoon instead; I'll apparate us there right now. Think of all the fun we will have creating my heir. If you're a good girl I might even make it pleasurable for you too." He was looming above me and had a malicious grin on his face that filled me with fear. I got up and turned to run, but before I could take one step he grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me back. I tried to shake him off but I was powerless. His eyes flashed unnaturally red as he readied himself to apparate us. "There's no escaping from me" he whispered in my ear._

"_NO!"_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thankyou to everyone who read, reviewed and added to favourites and story alerts! I'd love to know your thoughts. Thanks to my cousin for helping me with editing many times and again to my beta.

Chapter 2: Tuesday 2nd September 1969

My body did the only thing it could do: force me to open my eyes. My mind let out a huge sigh of relief at being awake. It was early morning, around 7am. After lying awake for about half an hour, I got out of bed, went for a shower then got dressed.

I thought back to my dream while going down to breakfast, I knew what a lot of it meant, without the help of divination; such a ridiculously _pathetic_ subject. Although Bella is never like that to me in real life, she's much nastier to those who annoy her or get in her way. Several times she has come close to losing her temper with me before, but always ended up deciding against 'being mean to her baby sister'.

Mother and father always remind us all about how lucky we are to be in the Black family, how we need to uphold the family traditions. I am always told how I should be more like my big sisters. It seems like I can never do enough to please my family as long as I have not made a perfect pureblood marriage match and had children. That is of course, what I ideally want, but I feel too young – at fourteen - to even have to think about it. Plus, all that men want is constant satisfaction of their desires. I have often dreamt of my own Knight like the one in 'The Fountain of Fair Fortune', a pureblood version of course. However when I look at the real wizards around me, I know that there is no fairytale-like Knight here for me. This gloomy realisation means that I have resigned myself to the fact I will never find my supposed true love as he doesn't exist. I dread the day of my arranged wedding and my life after that, it will be as good as being sent to Azkaban, trapped, chained and agonisingly miserable; I know that I will be married because if I can't or won't find my own husband, mother and father will find one.

In my first year while Bella was still here at school, I saw how her first boyfriend dumped her after he got what he wanted; it was the only time I'd ever seen a look on her face like that, of hurt. She quickly covered it up with extreme fury; Bella never shows any weakness. After that incident, she became even more obsessed with power than before and sought to dominate all others around her. Sometimes the gleam in her eye and laughter when she feels it - control - looks and sounds almost maniacal.

She has always tried to be as much like a boy as she can, and tries her hardest to beat them in anything competitive such as duelling, but she put even more effort into outsmarting and beating them than ever before. The Slytherin Quidditch team has not had any female players since Jody Jacknife finished at Hogwarts, so Bella decided she was going to join it as a Beater; and when Bella wants something, she will go to any lengths to make sure she gets it. After several months of blackmailing and threatening Stuart the Captain and hexing the other players at any possible chance she got, he finally relented and grudgingly let her in. It was the first time I had ever seen a girl being chosen to play on our Quidditch team before, so I was extremely impressed.

If any of the opposite team or our own insulted her she never hesitated to send bludgers at them, not caring if she injured them whatever side they belonged to. In fact she seemed to find great pleasure in it, as she often had laughing fits when she hurt someone. She was an excellent but lethal Beater, as she played only for herself, not as a team member.

Then, during my second year she started to talk about the man known as the Dark Lord, or Lord Voldemort.

"Cissy, I want to meet this Dark Lord for myself. He seems to have been gaining power over the last few years; I think he will keep getting very powerful. I want to join him and show all muggles their rightful place in the world," she said to me one day, muttering, "and _men"_ under her breath afterwards.

She started to ask mother a lot about when we could go to visit our uncle Rosier, pretending she wanted to see our little cousin Evan as we hadn't seen him for a few years. I knew the real reason was that as uncle knows this 'Dark Lord' she wanted to ask him how she could meet him. Mother seemed suspicious of Bella because she is only ever that sickly sweet when she wants to get her own way or is up to something. When mother couldn't force the truth out of her she got angry and told her there was no way we were visiting her brother when she was being such a rude liar. I think that Bella has silently been scheming on getting her own way ever since.

Last month after her graduation she told our parents she was going to visit some new countries this year to 'gain experience'. They seemed satisfied with the lie, but I'm sure she is going to find the Dark Lord as soon as possible.

Seeing that Rabastan had made an early start to breakfast, I sat down at the table as far away from him as possible and reached for some toast with bacon and mushrooms, trying to block out the disgust of seeing him pig his face out. A few minutes later Dromeda sat next to me.

"So, are you still pissed off with me?"

"Is there something in it for me if I forgive you so soon?"

"What do you want?"

I pretended to think about it for a few seconds as I was eating, before saying, "I want you to stop that prick from trying to make advances on me" nodding towards Rabastan.

She grinned, looking scarily like Bella for a moment. "Done."

At this point McGonagall told us all to be quiet and to come and collect our timetables from our Head of House once we had finished eating breakfast. I got up straight away and went over to Professor Slughorn to get mine and Dromeda's before there was much of a queue. As I had my eyes directly on Slughorn I didn't notice that I was about to walk into a blond boy until it happened. I would have fallen to the floor if his hands hadn't caught me.

"Watch where you're going you idiot, I'm a prefect!" he snapped. "Oh...it's the baby Black girl, Narcissa is it?" His tone of voice softened somewhat seeing I was a fellow Slytherin. "Well, be more careful next time."

"Yes, I'm Narcissa. Sorry about that." I was blushing from extreme embarrassment. "Um, congrats on your prefect badge" I tried changing the subject. He smirked.

"Why thank you. I've been looking forward to using my '_privileges_' ever since I got it." I knew he meant he'd been looking forward to abusing them, but I smirked too, it was fun to put the younger kids in their places, especially the ones in the other Houses. He raised an eyebrow and motioned towards Slughorn, "Shall we?" I suddenly realised he was still holding onto my arms from pulling me up, I shook them out of his grasp then nodded.

He walked behind me like a polite gentleman. "Here you go Narcissa." said Slughorn as he handed me the parchment. "Can I have Dromeda's too please sir?" He gave me the second piece of parchment and I moved to let the boy collect his; "Malfoy? Here you go."

The boy turned to my direction, studying his timetable before looking at me. "I'm Lucius by the way." I told him I knew. Who didn't? "Excellent, what have you got first then Narcissa? May I escort you to your lesson?" he had a smirk on his face which made me feel slightly uncomfortable. It was as if he knew something I didn't.

"Oh, no, I don't want you to be late to your lesson Lucius, but thank you for your offer." He looked a little surprised for a moment before resuming his smirk. It seemed to be permanently etched onto his face.

"Very well Narcissa, it has been a _pleasure_ bumping into you. I look forward to speaking with you again." He raised my hand to kiss it, and then I turned away to walk to my Transfiguration lesson after giving Dromeda her timetable.

As I walked out of the Great Hall someone sidled up to me. "Hey Cissa, are you going out with Lucius?" It was Bertha; the most annoying person to ever exist on this Earth. She had a know-it-all grin on her face. I sighed. Why the hell can't she leave me alone? She's the entire meaning of the word annoying.

"I _don't_ have a boyfriend Bertha." I stated. "And I don't want one either. So there's no need for you to play matchmaker for me. Oh and stop calling me that, my name is _Nar_cissa." I snapped.

"Ohh!" she whined. "You two would be so _adorable_ together! Hmm...Lucius; more like luscious." She looked very dreamy.

"Bertha, shut up! That's disgusting! If you love him so much then go bother him instead of me!" I walked faster to get away from her and quickly sat down in the Transfiguration room next to Florence. I sighed quietly, "For fucks sake..."

"What beautiful language Narcissa, almost as beautiful as your lovely self." she said with a wink. I laughed. "Tell me when we start doing the spell work." She smiled.

Flo has been my best friend ever since halfway through first year when she finally managed to break through my shyness. After that I've found it gradually easier to talk to others, but none as easy as her apart from my sisters. Although, I still don't tell them everything.

After about fifteen minutes of blathering on with a welcome back speech, McGonagall told us we were going to start transfiguration on bigger objects, what a surprise... This year it will be objects like small chests of drawers and so on. I started to tell Flo about the Rabastan situation in my dream, and then Malfoy this morning and Bertha being her usual self.

"So what do you think the dream meant? What do you think the part with Rabastan means?" I asked her. She is a Slytherin like me but has a Ravenclaw element in her so often knows the answers to my questions.

"Hm...Maybe you think you will be forced into a marriage you don't want? And I know how you don't like him, so he probably personifies all men, greedy and selfish."

My jaw dropped slightly. "How do you know everything? Ok, so why do you think Lucius was being all polite and flirty this morning? We've never properly talked before."

"Oh he's probably on a high from getting his prefect badge, so he's even more confident and arrogant than usual, plus you've been growing quite a bit lately Narcissa, I don't think this will be the last time you have to put up with guys behaving like that. Also, guys love to brag about their achievements like chatting up girls. You know, I bet he was surprised when you refused his offer of bringing you here; probably deflated his ego slightly."

"Wait, you think there will be more? Oh Merlin..."

"Florence, Narcissa! Stop talking and concentrate on the task at hand please!" McGonagall said sharply.

"Yes Professor." I sneered slightly when she looked away. "Stupid whisker woman" I muttered to myself and Flo; she grinned. After that we didn't say much else, we finished the lesson and went to our next; Potions.

I sat with Flo as always, and we brewed a Wit-Sharpening potion fairly successfully. Afterwards it was break so we found somewhere secluded for a while.

"So, how do I stop these damned guys from harassing me before it's too late?"

"Oh I don't think you can really, but if they do try and flirt with you, you have to tell them no _very_ bluntly." She paused for a moment. "Wait, actually, there is a way to keep them from harassing you, but you probably won't like it."

"If it works I'm sure I'll like it Flo! What is it?" I said quickly. Surely it couldn't be _that_ bad?

"Well, most of the time, guys _will_ leave you alone, but only if you already have a boyfriend. Are you sure you don't like any guy in that way?"

I groaned. "Ugh. No. I don't like anyone; I'm not interested in those disgusting creatures. As friends some of them are ok perhaps, but nothing more." I was filled with disappointment after getting my hopes up. "I guess I'll just have to avoid Rabastan and anyone else who decides they want to harass me."

"You know Narcissa. It's a bit strange the amount you hate guys. I mean, I see your point, and I agree with you, they are nearly always interested in one thing, but do you think you're being a bit extreme? Every other girl in our year pretty much dreams about her crush and perfect man every day and would kill for a chance with them."

"Flo, you know why I don't like them. Even I don't know if I could change my mind. I think every day about what my perfect guy would be like, and then I look up and see the reality in front of me, he doesn't exist, not anywhere. I don't want to turn out like Bella. Sometimes, sometimes I think what happened is turning her a bit...insane."

"What! What makes you think that?" she looked concerned.

"Well, sometimes, she has this look in her eye, when she's like, feeling powerful...and also, in the holiday..." Flo broke me off.

"Crap! We're going to be late for Herbology!" We got up and ran. Luckily we were only a few minutes late and Professor Sprout was still welcoming everyone back. I decided it would be a good idea to be quiet and concentrate.

The rest of the day went fairly quietly. This was unusual for me because Bella used to always ask me what I'd been up to that day in the evening, and then often find someone in the common room to bully. She was always in trouble, but now she wasn't here anymore. I went to bed and fell asleep hoping she'd write to me soon, but nervous of what news she might tell me. She's always been a troublemaker, but now she was a legal adult out of school, she could easily land herself in real trouble, not just meaningless detentions.

I waited for a week, then another, still nothing from her; I started to look for her owl Trixie every day, disappointed when it never turned up. Ironic too, because the owl doesn't like anyone much, I've been attacked, well, more like 'been the victim of attempted owl murder' by her several times. Knowing Bella, I wouldn't hear from her for weeks, maybe months. It's been a month already with no news from her since she left home. With her mind focused on finding Lord Voldemort, she will forget everything else until she becomes bored, and now that I don't know where she is, it makes me worry.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Sunday 21st September 1969

"Dromeda, do you think Bella is looking for Lord Voldemort?"

"Of course! You didn't think she was really interested in sightseeing and learning did you?" Andromeda answered, then snorted at the idea of it.

"Do you think she's going to write soon?"

"Oh you know what she's like." She said. "She obviously has her eye on a goal right now; I guess she might get bored after not getting anywhere after several weeks though and write or just come home. You know how impatient she gets. But she'll probably keep trying until she does find the man. I have a feeling she won't give up on this; she's been talking about it for at least a year and a half. I don't think she's ever been so motivated or excited about anything ever!"

"Will you write to her? I can't get it off my mind right now. I know she isn't an easy target, she's the best at duelling out of all of us, but she's just, out there, in the unknown. I'm worried about her; but she'd get pissed off if I sent her a letter saying how I feel."

"Hmm...Yeah ok, I'll do it for you baby sis." She stuck her tongue out at me. I felt a bit of relief so I thought I'd get some homework out of the way. Dromeda was quick to finish hers and she went off somewhere, patrols maybe. After about twenty minutes I felt an unwanted presence behind me. I wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone, so I didn't bother turning around to see who it was.

"Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate? Go away." I said, my voice about as cold as a bucket of ice.

"Evening, Narcissa." Oh fuck. Rabastan. I was hoping he'd forgotten about me. It had been two and a half weeks since we'd been back. I didn't reply. "How are you today gorgeous?"

I could see that ignoring him wasn't going to work.

"_Don't_ call me that." I growled at him, "I am fine, I'd be happier if I could finish this work in silence and if you left me alone." The last three words were emphasised.

He took the seat next to me. "Oh Narcissa, you don't really mean that, I know you love my company. Can I help you with your work? I want to talk to you."

In my head I imagined punching his face; unfortunately reality is never as good as my daydreams. Knowing my luck I'd break a knuckle if I did try, as my punching abilities are fairly non-existent, and there's always my reputation to upkeep too. "Well, do you know any uses of this potion? I can't remember any." I said sweetly; if he wasn't going to leave, I might as well get something out of it. He looked down to see the title. He gave me two suggestions which sounded feasible so I wrote them down, though I'm sure Slughorn told us at least five uses.

"You've talked to me, are you going to go away now?" I asked.

He put his arm around me. It felt as if a dark curse was manifesting on me where his skin touched mine. "Narcissa my sweet, we've only just started. Now that you've finished I want to talk properly. We haven't had any quality time together since the end of last term, I've missed you babe. This is the first chance I've had to catch you alone since we got back..."

"For Merlin's sake, just get to the bloody point! Get off me! What do you want?" I shook his arm off and a shiver went down my spine.

"Will you be my date on the October Hogsmeade visit? You don't have to answer straight away; it's on the 25th, on a Saturday so you have a month to think about it."

"Piss off Rabastan."

He got up and walked to the common room entrance. "I'll be waiting for your reply! And remember, it was _me_ who asked you first, so don't even think about running off with some other guy."

"Oi you prick! Leave her alone before I go get Dromeda! I heard her telling you to leave Narcissa alone or she'd hex you where it hurts!" Flo had suddenly appeared. I burst out laughing. Now it was really tempting to get Dromeda on his case. The portrait swung shut behind her.

"So I'm guessing he asked you out then?" Hearing her voice allowed to me to relax a little after tensing up from Rabastan being near.

"Yeah, to the Hogsmeade visit next month as his 'date'. He wouldn't even give me a chance to say no. He hasn't spoken to me since the end of third year, and suddenly he thinks he has the right to ban me from going with anyone else! I wish I'd just stunned him before he had the chance to open his mouth!" I was extremely annoyed.

Leaving all my work as it was - partly unfinished - I stormed out of the common room, my wand at the ready, looking for some sort of revenge. Rabastan can't have gone far, I'll get the bastard. Before going any further I put a silencio charm on my shoes, I didn't want him to know he was being followed.

It was gloomy and dark as always with the dim lights giving a green tinge throughout the corridors. I ran round a few corners and then stopped abruptly. I thought I could hear voices, two voices, so I stopped to listen. One of them sounded familiar, the other wasn't but I could tell it was a boy's because of the lower pitch. The familiar voice sounded hostile, while the other sounded pleading...

"How dare you talk to me you filth? I already have to put up with your unwanted presence twice a week! Isn't that enough? You will not speak to me unless it is absolutely necessary. If we were out of school I'd teach you a lesson for your insolence!"

It was Dromeda. The other voice didn't sound angry so I couldn't hear all of his reply.

"...you're just...there's no need...your family...Andromeda, I...friends..."

"How dare you speak my name? Get away now before I hex you! I'm leaving!" I realised it must be that mudblood Ted Tonks with her, she was sounding more furious by the second. I wondered if I should show myself, but thought it was better not to – I didn't know how Dromeda would react to being eavesdropped on. "What are you...get your disgusting hands off...! Her voice was suddenly muffled.

What the fuck! I pointed my wand at myself and whispered as quietly as possible, "Agua Evanesco" and peeked my head around the corridor corner. I nearly dropped my wand...

He was kissing her! My mouth dropped open but I couldn't find any words, I felt like I was going to be sick. A mudblood forcing himself onto my sister, it was a sin!

"Aduro!" There was a loud shout of pain right after the incantation. The boy fell to the floor clutching his shoulder. There was a hole through his robes there and the skin looked red and burned. Dromeda had her wand still pointing at him, and she was shaking, "You bastard mudblood! Don't you ever touch me again! I don't care what Dumbledore says, I'm not doing patrols with _you_ anymore! I want nothing to do with your kind! I hate you!" This seemed to be my cue to leave, so I ran silently back to the Slytherin dorm portrait, just before I reached the corridor I ended the spell which had given me the almost invisible illusion of being water and the silencing charm on my shoes.

"Password?"

"Envy."

Flo was sitting in the chair I had left about ten minutes ago and had put my things away. She looked at me apprehensively. I didn't need to say anything for her to know she should follow me upstairs.

Lying down on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I didn't know exactly what or how I could tell Flo. Do I even want to talk about it?

"So, what happened with Rabastan out there then?"

I looked at her in confusion for a few seconds. "Oh! I er, I didn't find him actually."

"You didn't? What happened then? You look like you're ill or something."

My mouth opened and closed a few times but no words came out. "I, I...oh Merlin..." My breathing didn't feel right. Flo came to my side immediately.

"Narcissa, what's wrong? Do you want me to take you to the hospital wing? You look really pale."

_Stop it! Go back to normal!_ I tried to tell my body; my heart and lungs seemed to have forgotten how to function normally. Flo put her arm round me and I put my hand on my stomach to calm it down.

"I just...saw...Dromeda...mudblood. He, he...harassed her." Why am I being hysterical? _We Blacks don't lose control like this_, I tried to tell myself.

Flo didn't seem to be able to understand me.

"Don't say anymore right now, I'm going to get you a Calming Draught from the Potions aid cupboard." Tears formed in my eyes, I couldn't understand it as they fell down my face.

After a couple of minutes I heard Flo coming back up, "It's none of your fucking business!" she shouted down the stairs, and slammed the door loudly as she came in again. A surge of anger stormed through me; why can't people keep out of other people's business? I had a feeling Bertha may have been on the receiving end of Flo's rage. I took the bottle from her and drank down. It felt like a cool flow of water washing through my body, and then I started to feel drowsy...


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, add to favourite stories and story chapter alerts! I'd love to know your thoughts on my characterisation, storyline, general writing style, any mistakes or inconsistencies, any suggestions you have or just general thoughts overall. I will reply to any questions.

Chapter 4: Monday 22nd September 1969

"Narcissa wake up, we've got to go to Charms!" Flo shouted, far too loudly in my ear.

Shit. I quickly sat up. Oh Circe, that wasn't a good idea. I didn't feel right. My mind couldn't focus, when I tried it felt worse. With my blanket having fallen off me I felt strangely shivery.

"Uhh I can't...Flo, my head...going to explode." I felt like crying again, but that would be a stupid thing to do, I don't want the pounding in my head to get worse...

"Blimey, you look _terrible_! I'm sorry but I have to go, I'll send Dromeda up."

Even that made my head hurt, thinking about Dromeda was too complicated for my head to take even a small amount of it. I crawled up into the foetal position; I don't think I've ever felt so ill in my life.

"Cissy? Flo said you're ill. Are you ok to walk to the hospital wing with me?" My response was a groan; _no_. "You need to go there, but I can't carry you, it would take too long." She rushed downstairs suddenly. Oh Merlin, please, _please_ knock me out. I had a raging fever, high temperature and a headache. Dromeda ran back into my dorm. "Ok Cissy, you just need to get out of bed and then down to the common room and I'll get you sorted from there."

Slowly, I left my bed. I was still wearing my dark blue dress from yesterday as I hadn't had the time to properly undress, and I was barefoot. I staggered over to my sister and she caught me round the waist. She pointed her wand at the stairs that lead to the common room; "Glisseo!" It turned into a slide. We sat at the top stair then slid down, my head felt even worse so I shut my eyes. Dromeda lifted me and pulled me forward a few steps, when I opened my eyes they were met with a grey pair; Lucius Malfoy's. My head tried to focus again out of shock but just throbbed even more in response; I clutched at my face with my free hand.

"Miss Black, we meet again. How _delightful_." No. There is no delight; I'm hideous and I need to be knocked out. "Your dear sister tells me you need to go to the hospital wing. She has asked me to carry you since you are quite clearly in an incapable state of walking anywhere." What? Malfoy, carry me? Even with my mind as fuzzy as it was, I understood his words. NO! Knock me out NOW! Do it NOW! I wanted to scream.

Dromeda's grasp loosened and I dropped like a heavyweight, feeling like jelly, I couldn't even stand on my own two feet for a second. Lucius for the second time quickly grabbed me to stop my fall. He seemed to lift me as easily as he would pick up a ragdoll. I will never be able to live this down. I can't take this embarrassment, I'm being so weak.

"I'm sorry Cissy but I can't stay with you right now, I need to eat and get to my lesson. Lucius is a prefect, he'll look after you. I'll see you later ok?" With that she walked out, leaving me alone with Malfoy.

"I had hoped we would speak again under better circumstances than this Narcissa." Oh shut up. I can't think, don't make me think. "Don't worry; I'll take care of you." He walked out into the dungeon corridors. I couldn't bear to look at anything so I shut my eyes, everything was much too bright. For the rest of the walk to the hospital wing he was silent. I hoped no one would see me in this humiliating state.

Soon I heard the Healer's voice and I was given something to drink; pure relief, thank Merlin. I drifted out of consciousness.

* * *

><p><em>I was in the corridor where I had seen Dromeda and the mudblood just earlier and I was waiting for someone, who? Who was it again? I don't know...when did I even get here?<em>

"_Hello Narcissa." Why had I been waiting for Rabastan? I turned to walk away but my legs were paralysed again. Fear flooded through my entire being. "That's right Narcissa; you're not running away this time. I want to talk to you. This pretension you don't like me, I think you're just putting it on. There's no need gorgeous, you don't have to listen to the silly ideas you hear about me. Narcissa, I want to be friends." He was moving closer, his arm snaked around my shoulders and he leaned in close to my face. For a few moments he just looked in my eyes; they were hungry. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst. He then attempted to practically eat my mouth. This felt so wrong. "You will surrender to me." He breathed heavily before moving in again. Stop it! Stop it! I can't scream. My stomach was clenched tight in horror._

_There was a noise nearby and we turned to look. "Avada Kedavra!" Rabastan crumpled to the floor, pulling me with him._

"_Narcissa..." the drawling voice sounded worried; Lucius. "Are you hurt?" He quickly came to my side and lifted me in his arms. I started to cry and he wiped the tears away. What the hell was this? He leaned towards my face, I lifted mine to meet his, this felt...heavenly. But as we were about to meet..._

"Narcissa! Narcissa wake up!" I opened my eyes to see the Healer, Dromeda and Flo standing around my bed. My mind was furious. "Sorry to disturb you, but you need to drink the rest of your fever potion" said Flo. Grudgingly I took it and finished it off. It didn't send me to sleep this time, but I pretended that it did so that I would be left alone; bitches. Obviously I was convincing enough as I heard their footsteps not long after. Then, a few minutes more and I heard footsteps again but I didn't recognise them; surely it was dinner time and everyone was in the Great Hall? They entered the room. What was _Malfoy_ doing here?

"I see you're awake, how are you feeling?" as usual his voice dripped with 100% sarcasm.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped. How dare he come to mock me while I am weak? "And why would you care, you don't even know me." Right now I had no desire to be sociable to anyone in the world. Especially since he had humiliated me earlier.

"I am a prefect; it's my responsibility to look after the younger Slytherins, and your sister told me to look after you."

"Don't give me that rubbish, you finished 'looking after me' when you brought me here...and I know you don't give a shit about the younger kids." I shifted over deliberately so he was out of my sight.

"I am simply trying to be a gentleman Miss Black, your sister told me to look after you, so I am merely checking on you." He sat on the edge of the bed. "I want to be friends Narcissa."

My fight or flight system went into sudden overdrive at the déjà vu and I fell off the mattress. "Ahh! Stop it, stop it! Please!" I began sobbing.

"Narcissa!" He quickly came to pick me up. I started to get more hysterical and struggled to get out of his grasp. "Calm down! I'm just going to put you back in your bed." I tensed up after the surge of adrenaline, now I was aching all over. Although I felt better than this morning I was still recovering. He sighed, "Look, the reason I came here, it's because I thought it would be the only chance I'd get to talk to you alone." He stood up straight after gently laying me down. "This may be a bad time, but I was wondering...would you accompany me on the Hogsmeade visit next month?"

Déjà vu _again_? Merlin, kill me now. I started to laugh, I really am cursed. "So what would we do if I 'accompanied' you? What is your definition of a friend? Are you trying to trick me into going on a date? I don't date anyone Malfoy." I scowled. Why is he even asking me? We've only talked once! I thought he would have forgotten about our brief encounter.

"Trick you? How can you accuse me of such a terrible thing? Of course I'm not trying to trick you!" He gave such a deliberately unconvincing look of being insulted I burst out laughing again. His expression quickly changed to a smirk. "I would just like to spend some time getting to know you, as friends of course. As for my definition of a friend; that would be someone who I enjoy talking to, spending time with, and who I share common interests with."

'_...guys _will_ leave you alone, but only if you already have a boyfriend...'_ Flo's words echoed in my head. I didn't believe that Lucius didn't have hidden motives, but somehow it didn't seem like he was completely lying. I really want Rabastan to leave me alone; maybe _I_ can use this to my own advantage...

"Fine, I accept."

"Excellent." He looked extremely pleased with himself. "Well, I will meet you in the common room on the day then. Until next time Miss Black. Oh and by the way, I hope you are feeling better very soon." I gave my fake sweet smile in return. Perfect. Then he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Tuesday 23rd September 1969

Next day I was almost completely well again, but I decided to milk it for all it was worth and got to skip all my lessons for a second day. Flo could see right through this and found it extremely amusing, as well as Slytherin-like. However there was no chance for third time lucky, as I knew there was no way she would unnecessarily endure being forcibly paired up with Bertha in every lesson for another day.

"All she fucking talks about is who people fancy, try to get it out of you who you like, or go on about some guy she likes. She doesn't even get the hint when you try to change the conversation to topics like History of Magic or Arithmancy theories." I had to stuff my pillow in my mouth to drown out my laughter, I couldn't have the Healer getting suspicious and making me leave too early. Bertha may be annoying, but at least we get some fun mocking her when she's not there.

"So, what was it that happened on Sunday?" she asked after a while. I thought back and felt a bit sick again for a moment.

"Well, you know how Dromeda got paired with that mudblood for patrol rounds?"

"The Hufflepuff scum?"

"Yeah, um, I went out to try and find Rabastan so I could hex him or get some sort of revenge. I couldn't find him anywhere, but then I heard that mudblood Ted Tonks trying to talk to Dromeda, saying he wanted to be her friend. And _then_, he forcibly kissed her!" Flo's jaw dropped.

"That is _revolting_! If that happened to me I think I'd be sick...all over the filthy mudblood! What did she do then?"

"She burned his shoulder and said she wouldn't do patrols with him anymore, but the weird thing is, she only seemed to react and attack him a moment after she should have. Why would it take anyone that long?"

"Wait a minute; this was on Sunday wasn't it? Wasn't the reason Rabastan left to go out on his patrol? I remember him coming back and gloating about how he played some trick on the Ravenclaw prefect he got paired with; I think he got Peeves to empty a bucket of water over her. Why the hell was Dromeda even out there with him in the first place?" This time my jaw dropped.

"S ...so she deliberately went out to meet him?" I spluttered. "Holy shit" She has to be confronted; how could she? There had better be some kind of reasonable explanation. But what kind of explanation could rationalise that? Would my own sister really willingly talk with mudbloods after all that we have learnt? She always has been the most tolerant of us three sisters I suppose. But it's not like she's friends with any! I can't let her mind be polluted and corrupted by the ridiculous idea that muggles and their 'magical' offspring are equal to us when really, they are far beneath us.

I didn't want to think of it anymore, it made me frightened which I didn't want to admit. "Flo, you know Lucius Malfoy, in the year above us?" She nodded. "Well, Dromeda got him to carry me up here yesterday, and then he came to visit me after you left in the evening. He asked me if I would 'accompany him' on the Hogsmeade visit."

"Oh really? I guess he was disappointed then." She looked at me knowingly.

"Actually, no, or at least that's what I made him believe." I laughed. Manipulating and scheming is such fun. "I accepted his offer, but only because I want Rabastan to leave me alone. If he thinks I have a boyfriend then he'll leave me alone. It'll be just like you said, right?"

"It may work, but I think Rabastan will take quite a bit of convincing that there is no chance with you."

"There is no fucking chance! I would honestly prefer to be kissed by a dementor!" I exclaimed.

"I know, I know, but when you say things like that, guys just see it as a challenge and get even more determined to win." Argh! Why? This is ridiculous, guys are meant to be simple and predictable idiots. If only I could stay here forever, away from everyone. "What do you think of Lucius anyway?" Flo interrupted my thought trail.

"What, Lucius? He acts the part of charming gentleman I suppose. He's practically made of sarcasm. I guess he's not as bad as Rabastan, but he is still just a guy." I'd never thought about this before. Is he just the same as all guys? I'm not sure, but I can't let my guard down, Bella warned me about the ones that do that, she said they're the most dangerous.

"But, do you, you know, like him? As a friend I mean."

"Guys don't seek friendship with girls, they might pretend they do, but it's just a trick so they can get in our knickers." Lucius does seem interesting though. I wonder what's underneath all his sarcastic charm... "I don't want to grow up Flo; I don't want to get married to any man. Why can't it be just me, Dromeda, Bella and you?"

"Time's up Miss Avery! You've been here for half an hour not ten minutes!" the Healer interrupted. Damn her. "Miss Black, you are free to go in an hour's time for dinner."

Flo got up to go. "See you at dinner my sexy cripple." She said sticking her tongue out at me.

"Jealous?"

"Obviously." I smirked, enjoying our playful banter.

For the next hour, I lay there, just thinking about when Bella had warned me to look out for the charming type of guys. In my mind, I couldn't imagine how a guy could be worse to me than Rabastan, but he wasn't at all charming. In fact, he put my guard on high alert whenever he was around. I also couldn't think of a single reason why I would even consider letting someone lower it; I'm not stupid after all. I don't daydream about and chase after the boys in Hogwarts like many girls do.

My sisters and I are forbidden from having boyfriends without mother and father's approval. Bella kept her ex-boyfriend a secret from them, making me and Dromeda swear not to tell them; I agreed because I didn't want any unnecessary arguments. After seeing a mudblood force himself onto Dromeda, I couldn't decide which of my sisters had it worse. I felt worried that if things continued this way, I would have something happen to me soon that would be even more horrible.

Bella isn't a very romantic type of girl, but she let her guard down that one time. I don't understand how it could have happened; perhaps it was some kind of Dark Magic that only men know. The thought always made me shiver, so I snuggled back under the safety of the covers, hoping that I would never repeat her mistake.


End file.
